


i’m not as think as you drunk i am

by effervescentwords



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Boners, Halloween, Karaoke, M/M, MOVIE SPOILERS!!!!, Making Out, Party, Simon doesn’t know who blue is yet, drinking alcohol, things get handsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-30 17:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13956840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/effervescentwords/pseuds/effervescentwords
Summary: Simon is drunk and Barack Obama has never looked hotter.-or-Bram’s Halloween party but Bram almost hooks up with Simon instead of the sexy minion





	i’m not as think as you drunk i am

**Author's Note:**

> contains movie spoilers, proceed with caution! x

Simon realized that beer didn’t taste so bad after the first few cups. 

The only previous experience he had with alcohol involved him getting wine tipsy with Leah and crying over Friends, so he was a certified lightweight. 

Simon wasn’t particularly amazing at the game of beer pong he was currently participating in, but he was a lot better than Martin and that’s all that really mattered. Abby could’ve been the gold medal Olympian in beer pong but that still wouldn’t have saved their team from Martin’s atrocious attempts to sink a ball. 

Bram’s smile when they won the game was enough to send Simon’s stomach in a frenzy, a feeling that felt right in a way he couldn’t fully explain. 

“Jesus Martin, thank God I’m a bit drunk so I won’t fully remember the embarrassment we just endured.” Joked Abby, elbowing Martin in the rib. His cheeks turned a scarlet, and Simon couldn’t help but roll his eyes a bit. Martin was a complete ass, but he was a gangly and nerdy ass which made the heat of hating him a little more bearable. 

“We could like,” Bram slurred with a giggle. “Use Garret’s karaoke machine! Oh my God, that would be so fun! C’mon guys!” Tipsy Bram wasn’t as articulate as he usually tried to be, and it was adorable. 

Blue was a grammar nerd too. 

Simon didn’t want to envision every cute guy he came in contact with as Blue but it was becoming a bit impossible. He didn’t even know if Bram was into guys, but the possibility that it could be him made his heart flutter a bit. 

“I’ll have to pass on that Bram. I’m not too big on publicly embarrassing myself.” Bram’s face fell almost comically at Abby’s words. 

And because Martin was Abby’s personal pet monkey, “Ah same for me Greenfeld. Kinda just want to chill for the rest of the night, maybe get to know Ms. Suso some more-“ 

“How about you Simon? Please! You’d be the best karaoke partner.” Slim fingers gently squeezed his shoulder sending a trance over Simon.

“I guess I’m down. I mean, this is a party right?” Simon flashed Bram a smile and he returned the action before grabbing his hand and leading him back into the house. The booming music made it a bit hard to focus on anything else, but the feeling of Bram’s soft and against his own was nothing he could ignore. 

But Blue. He was still out there. Simon felt guilty as his heart pounded against his chest for Bram, but his brain was a little too fuzzy for him to dwell on it excessively. Bram halted once they reached the bar. A few seconds later a red cup was slid Simon’s way. 

“Drink up, Lennon.” Three drinks and Simon almost falling on his ass trying to climb the stage later, Bram finally had the IPod in his hand. 

“Guilty pleasure,” Bram slurred as the song whirred to life. Justin Bieber. It was so Bram like. Endearing and unpredictable. 

A considerable amount of party goers had gathered to watch the scene play out. On any normal day Simon would have cowered away in his hoodie, but this was far from a normal day. He was drunk. And singing a love song with cute Bram Greenfeld. With the dim lights in his eyes and Bram’s off key singing in his ear, it was truly the first time in awhile he didn’t care what anyone thought of him. 

Maybe the liquor could be blamed for that, but Bram’s warm smile didn’t hurt in growing his confidence either. 

The song eventually faded out and Simon gripped Bram’s hand to pull them into a bow. Clapping erupted in front of them. Despite her cringing grimace Abby screamed the loudest. 

“You two are really something else.” Abby giggled as she approached the pair. Simon wrapped his arm around Bram’s shoulders to steady them as they stumbled off the makeshift stage. 

“Thanks, Wonder Woman. Obama and I greatly appreciate your compliments.” Uncontrollable laughter spilled from Bram’s lips. 

“I’ll leave you two to have fun then.” She patted Simon on the head before sauntering away, most likely on a mission to find Nick wherever he wandered off to. 

“Can we go upstairs? It’s so loud!” Bellowed Bram. Simon gestured to the staircase down the hall giving Bram an invitation to lead the way. The walk up the stairs was quite the struggle. Simon was already a clumsy person. Adding alcohol and an adorable guy to encompass his concentration was a recipe for disaster. They finally reached the top and Bram led him to a door on the left. 

“This is my room.” Bram clumsily pushed the door open with his foot, still managing to keep a grip on Simon while he did so. It was very tidy compared to Simon’s which intimated and overwhelmed him. It felt odd. Being in his room seemed oddly personal. Although Simon and Bram were acquaintances, Simon realized he truly didn’t know many things about the boy. Bram took a seat on his bed so Simon did the same. 

“Don’t you think it’s like,” Simon began to gesture with his hands. “Weird that we don’t hang out? I know we have lunch and all that, and sometimes you leech off my food, but I don’t like, know you.” A hum came from Bram’s lips. Interest in the conversation peaked, and he positioned himself so he was facing Simon cross legged on the bed.

“You’re right. I feel like we have a lot in common.”

The blush that rose upon Simon’s cheeks was anything but subtle. 

“Oh, really? Me, a complete klutz,” Simon giggled. “Has a lot in common with Bram Greenfield, soccer star extraordinaire?” 

“Shut up. Personally, I think your klutziness is adorable.” 

Fuck butterflies, the whole damn animal enclosure seemed to be filling Simon’s stomach. 

He was drunk, and feeling brave, so there was only one thing to do. 

“Would it be weird if I kissed you right now?” A beat and, “If you’re into guys? Oh god, I shouldn’t assume anything.” 

Bram played with his fingers. “I think I would be kind of sad if you didn’t kiss me.” 

Simon collided their lips. It was sloppy and tasted like beer, but the whirlpool of emotions in his abdomen didn’t seem to subside. 

His first time ever kissing a boy. Definitely better than his heterosexual experiences. He smiled so wide their teeth knocked together, and they had to pull away so Bram could stop his laughter. 

“I’m dressed as Obama, making out with John Lennon. Not what I envisioned this morning.”

Obama had never looked so hot. 

“I’m hurt. You’ve never fantasized about kissing John Lennon?”

“You? Maybe. John? Not so much.” 

That comment surged Simon forward, the kiss continuing once more. Bram ran his fingers along Simon’s scalp causing a low noise to erupt from his throat. He was really glad he had ditched the wig before they came up here. 

Bram took some of the control and gently pushed Simon onto his back. His breathing got heavier as Bram pushed himself closer. They only separated when their breath ran out, and with the hot atmosphere they learned to hold their breath quite well. Fingers gently crawled up Simon’s shirt. A noise of satisfaction left his lips. 

“Is this okay? Touching you here?” 

“God, yes. Yes.” Bram’s mouth moved to his neck. There would definitely be a mark there later. Simon couldn’t say he would mind. His brain was flooded with emotions, his body over-sensitized. Thinking straight was impossible. 

Ha. 

Bram Greenfeld and his skilled mouth would be the death of him. He could feel his jeans becoming tighter the more it continued and his face burned red. Who knew kissing could feel this good? Bram’s knee moved upward slightly towards the heat between his legs, and the extremely gentle pressure was enough to make him squirm with gratification. 

Bram.  
Bram.  
Bram.  
Blue? 

Of course, even with another boy’s body pressed against his own the anonymous crush couldn’t leave his mind. 

Simon didn’t know how different tomorrow would be, once the alcohol wore off and his confidence faded away. 

All he knew was that Bram Greenfeld made him feel things, a familiar happiness he didn’t want to leave anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! critique and comments greatly appreciated x


End file.
